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Musicians joke

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Phrases of conductors or how intelligent people cuss

There are only three rehearsals to shame!

Look with one eye at the party, and two at me!

You are so familiar, all this is playing, as if personally with Prokofiev drank!

I will tell you now what notes there are - you will be very surprised.

This is not a symphony orchestra for you, you can not hide in the crowd, you have to play clean!

You have to play as if you drank a little and do not rush anywhere.

Alty, where are you going? And it would be okay if something decent climbed, and then F-sharp!

Guys, these are "cuckoo sounds", and not the approach of enemy aviation!

And if someone played falsely, the main thing is to have time to look with reproach at your neighbor.

Do not drown in your own talent!

Number the measures, and then the eyes can move, but the numbers do not!

At home come and practice so that the whole family you could play it ...

Female choir! Sing along with your brains.

Thi Hassan Massoudy art for sale

s work you had to absorb with the teacher's milk!

Mendelssohn should be played without "Mendelsov".

Take your manicure off the neck!

Stop staring at the neck of the flutist, there are no notes, your party is on the music stand!

It's so necessary to hate each other so to play like this!

Why did not you explain in your childhood how the pipe differs from a pioneer furnace?

Shostakovich was not a boxer, but for such a game he would have risen and filled your face!

If you play the first number again, I'll kill all of you in turn, bury you, sit it out, and then dial a new orchestra!

Are not you afraid to go to the second branch? Say thank you, that intellectuals go to the Conservatory. And then the proletarians would have risen from their seats and stuffed all of you face for such a game!

Do not harp and harass her with a drunken husband!

I know that you all hate me. Now think about how I should treat you?

I do not belong with you in the same music!

The second trombone, I want to wish you to play at your funeral!

Try to blow yourself! I have the impression that you have not yet been explained the direction of airflow in the mouthpiece at the music school!

It was my will, I used this wand so that you have renewed air permeability in the body!

I promise you a job in the underground passage, and personally agree with the cops and bandits so that you will not be touched. But for passers-by I can not vouch.

To you instead of a saxophone - a chainsaw "Friendship" in hands. The sound is the same, but more money!

You have very beautiful, strong hands. Put the instrument and strangle yourself with them, do not mock the music!

Come home, convey my condolences to your wife. How can you sleep with such a non-rhythmical person?

I stop all ceremonies and from today I will start teaching you to love, if not me, at least music!

A series of messages "Thoughts of great people":
Part 1 - Quoting Part 2 - We need to think ... Part 44 - Revelations of Beauty. Kahlil Gibran Part 45 - Beauty is an aesthetic category. Part 46 - Phrases of conductors or how intelligent people cuss

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